<TITLE>The Prehistory of BOFH</TITLE>
<H2>The Prehistory of B.O.F.H</H2>
<P>
<H4>Where it came from, How and Why</H4>
<P>
I get people asking from time to time, so I may as well tell...
<P>
<HR><P>
Where it came from:
<P>
     So I was writing the <A HREF="Striped.html">Striped Irregular Bucket</A> and I was in much the same
situation as the poor operator I was writing about.  I was bored shitless. So
I thought I'd bash out a couple of lines about something, and where better to
start than a place I knew.   So I chunked out Striped Irregular Bucket, which
was far less offensive than  some  of  my  previous posts.  Unlike most of my
other posts, I knew the area I was talking about.  (Being bored in a Computer
Room  that  is).   Then I started getting mail from people, which was unusual
in itself, and it didn't say that my library books were overdue and it wasn't
from story-tellers who wanted to tell you why they needed more disk,  connect
time  etc.   I  ignored  most  of  this  and  went  on  with  other  writing,
resurrecting  BOFH  (who was as yet pretty much unnamed) in Striped Irregular
Bucket #5.   Then I got more mail, so I thought I'd bash out a couple of BOFH
articles.   So  I did,  then ran out of material briefly, so I stopped.  Then
got some  material, and started then stopped again.  That was about BOFH #15,
after a brief splurge into BSMFH.  Etc etc. Then I went to Britian for a year
and  worked  for Enterprise Oil PLC (good place, say Hi!) in London, bricking
out 2 articles in that time.  Along the way, Waikato kept my old account open,
so  I'd get maybe one mail message a week from someone who'd just read it for
the first time.  I still do, strangely enough.  Anyway, so I got back home,
took up a  job  as  Analyst Programmer, kissed the Computer Room goodbye, and thought
that would make a fitting end to the BOFH.  
<P>
To all the people who mailed me over 1993 or so and got no reply,
sorry,  but had to login from a Sun Sparc SLC via a modem to a machine which
connected  to  a machine which let me login via a weird version of telnet to
home in New Zealand.
<P>
Anyway, that's the very end of it.  I know I've said that a couple of times,
but there you go,  you can't trust an Operator.  But you can trust an A/P -
Trust me.
<P>
---------------------------------------------------------
<P>
21-Mar-1994.
<BR>
Okay, so I lied.
<P>
18-Nov-94
<BR>
Lied again..
<P>
May->Jun-1995
<BR>
Still lying...
<BR>
December 1995
<BR>
<I>No more lies - I guess I'll be writing them for a while.  If you want
up-to-date articles, you should be reading Datamation Magazines Web Site
and/or Subscribing to "Network Week" magazine in London.  Some of the
episodes make it to both places, some now.  Network Week sometimes also
pens their own episodes.</I>
<P>
<H2>The BOFH FAQ</H2>
<PRE>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Congratulations on sending me mail, it getting here, and you getting a reply!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the Bastard Operator From Hell (and other) FAQ file v1.5 (Beta) created
in response to the sporadic queries I get regarding things I write and post to
Usenet News.  You have received it because either:

  A. You asked for it
  B. It looks like you want some information from it
  C. I know you're paying for every byte you receive
    (which means you'll get the 2000 line version)
  D. You're a postmaster and the person I sent it to passed a bad
    return address to me.
  E. Extra Terrestrial Activity.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Q1.  Can you mail me BOFH/Quantum Optics/Part 4 of xxx/Party Dude/etc?
  A1.  No

  Q2.  Can you tell me where to get BOFH/etc?
  A2.  Possibly.  It should be available on Anonymous FTP at the
       following site.  It may not be up to date at all tho:
    cathouse.org    in  /misc/fun/humor/simon/
       Also, my WWW archive is fairly complete.  (See Below)
    
  Q3.  How many BOFHs were there?
  A3.  Well, it's a little grey for me, but to my knowledge there was:
    2  pre-BOFH texts (Striped Irregular Bucket Series)
    ~15  BOFH real
    2  Bastard System Manager from Hell
    2 or 3  Bastard Operator from Britain
    1  Last Bastard Operator from Hell
    1 more  Bastard returns briefly
    1 more Bastard goes to the Trade Show.
    (There's probably a discrepancy as I didn't keep a hot copy
    the whole time so I may have missed one somewhere.
    There were two "full" reposts to my knowledge:
      "The Executive Relief Repost" and  (prior to BOFB)
      "The Penultimate REREPOST" 
    The Penultimate REREPOST (or REPOST) is the last compilation
    available, so if you have that, you have a major part of it.
    10-Jun-1995.  1 more "The Bastard's still about"

  Q4.  Will there be any more BOFHs?
  A4.  Not that I know of.  I doubt it, but you never know what the
    hell will happen when I'm bored.  Don't bank on it tho.
    Late Note:   Could be.

  Q5.  Is any of it true?
  A5.  None of it.  P.s.  You have a lot of free disk now.  Don't thank
    me, it was my job.

  Q6.  Why did you do it?
  A6.  At first because I was bored.

  Q7.  Did you ever *really* do any of that stuff?
  A7.  Ah.... ...  no.

  Q8.  Can I use the BOFH in my magazine/newspaper/book?
  A8.  What the hell.  The only things I ask are:
    0.  You acknowlege copyright
    1.  You acknowlege the author (me!)
    2.  You don't edit it in any way (If it sucks, don't use it)
    3.  If your magazine/newspaper/book is earning a truckload of
        cash I'd like to see some of it!!!  ;-}
    4.  If you're not getting a truckload of dosh, I'd still just
        like to get a copy of your magazine, book, paper whatever,
        just to know how it's travelling.
       NOTE:  The Electronic Rights of BOFH are owned by Datamation
        Magazine or their publishers.  I would prefer that people
        who have electronic versions record this.

  Q8a. What's the copyright situation?
  A8a. I retain all copyright on my stuff unless otherwise stated

  Q9.  You convinced me.  Where can I send the truckload of cash?
  A9.  To me!:  Simon Travaglia 
      P.O.  Box 13018
      Hamilton,
      New Zealand

  Q10.  What if I haven't got a truckload of cash?
  A10.  Join the club.  I collect cameras...  (Pentax K1000s by
        preference) & United frequent flyer miles perhaps? (grovel)

  Q11.  When did the last BOFH come out?
  A11.  Dec 22, 1995 - "The bastard celebrates Xmas"

  Q12. When did the first one come out?
  A12. Dunno, I didn't pay attention at the time, I didn't think it'd
       catch on.  (I got some angry mail from people who didn't like it
       and thought I denigrated the good name of Computer Support)

  Q13. Have you written anything else?
  A13. All sorts of stuff.  It probably requires a well 'tuned' sense
       of humour.   cathouse.org (as mentioned above) has a directory
       called 'simon' that has some of my stuff in it.  
       More of my stuff is on my web page (see below).  Some other stuff
       I neither have, nor in some cases remember writing.  So it goes.

  Q14. I'm a psych grad - what was BOFH's motivation?
  A14. The undeniable realisation that Computer Operators rule the world!

  Q15. Is that the lot then?
  A15. Ah.  Well, there's a WWW distribution at Waikato University
    under:  http://prime-mover.cc.waikato.ac.nz/simon.html
    which contains the most complete collection I know of.

  Q16. Anything Else?
  A16. I thought about getting "The Bound Bastard" or "The Bound
    Bastard and Other Stories" printed or maybe a tee-shirt
    with "Talk to me and I'll kill -9 you!" but I didn't know
    how well it would go.  But IF ANYONE CAN TRACK
    DOWN A PUBLISHER WHO HAD THE WHEREWITHALL to do it...

  Q17.  What, no "Sorry about all your files" or "What was your
    username again?"
  A17.  Oh, of course.  What was your username and password again?

  Q18.  How many K1000's have you got?
  A18.  Two. 1 Broken.  And I paid for them too. 
        I haven't *EVER* received one.  It would be nice. (Hint Hint)
              I bought one from a camera shop in Boston for $139US. Made my
              day.  Beautiful Camera.  Beautiful.  Did I mention it was a
        beautiful camera.  It is.
</PRE>
<A HREF="Who.html"><I>SimonT</I></A>
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