accept no compromises

parody.txt

parody.txt
Posted Apr 9, 2001

Parody on the Hacker Manifesto - It is about the End-User. Why? Well, basically because, as an IT professional, I am sick of watching a "new" virus infect thousands of company's networks simply because an end-user cannot understand "do not open attachments from unknown/untrusted senders". Causing "untold amounts" in damage. Willie Gonzalez

tags | virus
systems | unix
MD5 | f43ab8e7d1c300659415f95f637a9d15

parody.txt

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Another one got released today; it's all over the papers. "New destructive 
virus wreaks massive havoc
Over the Internet", "Virus causes billions of dollars in damage for
corporate email systems!"
Damn end users. They're all alike.

But did you, in your technological-commonsense and 21st century techno
brain,
Ever take a look behind the eyes of the end user? Did you ever wonder
what made them think if anything, what forces shaped them into their current
mental state, what may have molded them?
I am an end user, enter my world...
Mine is a world that began with school and college degrees in some forgotten
profession...
I'm smarter than most of the other workers in the office, this crap they
have us work on us bores me...
Damn end users. They're all alike.

I have a college degree in some long forgotten specialty. I've listened to
technical people explain
for the fifteenth time how to be careful about emails. I still don't
understand it. "No,
Mr. Smith, I didn't listen and opened the attachment anyways. I don't even
know what an 'Anti-Virus' is..."
Damn end user. Probably they don't listen. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found an email program. "Wait a second, this is
cool.
I can send and receive email messages... I can send and receive programs
across the Internet!
Attachments they are called."
Damn end user. One of these days they are going to bring down the entire
network. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the network like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic
email is received, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetence is
sought... a virus has been deployed.

"This is it... this my calling..."
I can work and email friends across the Internet... even trade jokes, view
pictures, and trade our favorite programs...
Damn End user. Tying up the email server again with all those large-sized
attachments. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed, mindlessly
punching keys at
work when we hungered for fun and excitement through communicating with
people...
The bits of fun that you did let slip through were pre-scanned and
tasteless.
We've been dominated by the executives, or ignored by the IT department.
The few that had something to teach us, have long left the company to seek
employment elsewhere,
but those helpful and understanding few were like drops of water in the
desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electronic mail and the
attachments,
the beauty of not knowing where emails came from. "That person isn't in my
address book. Maybe I should add them to it,
send them and everyone on the TO: list a 'thank you' for their email."
We make use of a service that is over-complicated by IT professionals.
We view attachments without care to malicious intent by the sender. "They
sent this email to ME, why wouldn't I want to see what it is?"
We are naturally curious with technology, but do not want to be burdened
with complicated explanations of "to do's" and "not to do's" with it.
We explore... and you call us idiots. We seek after the latest jokes and
programs that people send us... and you call us careless.
We exist as numbers within companies, without nationality, without religious
bias... and you call us mindless, pathetic, data-entry clerks.
You build overly-confusing programs, network and security policies,
you don't spend enough time at our desks explaining why you hinder our
communication with friends,
you hang-up on us only after our forth call to helpdesk at 9AM, curse at us,
and lie to us telling us "viewing attachments is a very dangerous thing".
Well I have viewed many attachments, and ran many programs that people on
the Internet have sent me through email.
My computer does not run well. It is slow; randomly displaying blue screens
and error messages, yet you claim it is MY fault and walk away.

Yes, I am an end user. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that
of judging people by what they say and think, and send me, not what they
look like.
My crime is that of trusting people, something that you will never forgive
me for.

I am an end user, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual,
But you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

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