Slashdot Effect Prevention Kit
March 2, 1999

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Has your website been decimated by the
dreaded Slashdot Effect?  A small start-up company called
AntiDot Enterprises has the solution: The Slashdot Effect
Prevention Kit.  This product, which retails for US$49.95,
includes software and documentation allowing Unix-based
systems to resist the destructive force of the Slashdot
Effect.  AntiDot advertises, "If your site crashes as a
result of the Slashdot Effect, we'll give you your money
back, guaranteed!"

AntiDot is founded by a disgruntled webmaster, Eric
Langlitz, who suffered from the Slashdot Effect a few
months ago. Humorix conducted an exclusive interview with
Langlitz earlier today.

HUMORIX: Why did you create the Slashdot Effect Prevention
Kit?

LANGLITZ: I don't want other innocent webmaster to undergo
the same trauma I went through when my site was mentioned
on Slashdot.  Even though it was only a brief mention, my
server crashed within minutes of the posting.  The Pentium
CPU overheated, and actually caught on fire.  The system
was a total loss.  In addition, my ISP charged me $50.00
for the additional bandwidth the Slashdot Effect sucked
up.  

HUMORIX: Other sites have survived the Slashdot Effect. Why
did your system crash?

LANGLITZ: Well, using Windows NT probably wasn't the best
idea.  Still, most sites that survive the Slashdot Effect
are highly advanced systems -- quad Alphas with 1 GB of
RAM, for instance.  My system -- before it went up in
flames -- was a P60 with 24MB of RAM. However, why should I
upgrade my system because some nerd with the impossible
name "CmdrTaco" links to it?  I don't think that's fair.

HUMORIX: How does your Kit work?

LANGLITZ: The software consists of a modified Apache httpd
daemon that handles three additional tasks.

One, it periodically checks the http referrer logs to see
if any hits are coming from slashdot.org (or a mirror). 
Typically, sites about to fall victim to the Slashdot
Effect will have the URL http://slashdot.org/submit.pl in
their logs. If the daemon detects suspicious activity, it
will send an email to the webmaster notifying them of the
potential problem, and it will go into YellowAlert mode.

Two, once in YellowAlert mode, the daemon periodically
queries slashdot.org to see if the Slashdot homepage has
been updated.  If so, it downloads the page and checks for
the presence of any links to the site.  If it detects an
imminent Slashdot Effect, the daemon enters RedAlert mode.

Also, while in YellowAlert, the daemon monitors the system
load and the bandwidth usage for any suspicious spikes in
activity.  If a spike is detected (the Slashdot Effect
typically follows a set pattern of bandwidth usage), the
system is sent into RedAlert.

Three, once in RedAlert, the daemon actively repels the
Slashdot Effect, using methods preconfigured by the
webmaster:

- The daemon can redirect ALL requests back to
  slashdot.org, causing a Reverse Slashdot Effect. 
  Hopefully CmdrTaco will get the hint and remove the link.

- The daemon can send a series of emails to the Slashdot
  contributors demanding that the offending link be
  removed.

- The daemon can send an email to the site's ISP, notifying
  them of the problem before it gets out of control
  (However, since the Slashdot Effect can strike within
  milliseconds, this may not do much good).

- The daemon can issue an emergency shutdown -h now
  command, forcing the system to shut down before the
  Slashdot Effect can do any serious harm.

- The daemon can return an Error 666 ("Server Too Busy --
  Please DON'T try again later") to all requests.

HUMORIX: Just how effective is your Kit?  It seems like it
doesn't prevent a Slashdot Effect, only respond to it.

LANGLITZ: If the daemon is started in ExplodingTaco mode
(with the --taco switch), it actively prevents any of the
Slashdot posters from accessing the site.  The daemon
maintains a database of the IP addresses used by the
Slashdot contributors -- if the system detects an access
>from one of these addresses, the system returns an Error
667 ("Access Denied -- Go Away, Taco Boy") and enters into
YellowAlert mode.

HUMORIX: Have you done any field testing with your Kit?

LANGLITZ: Indeed.  None of the sites in our beta program
that used the Kit have been mentioned on Slashdot -- or any
other high traffic site (the TechSightings and LinuxToday
Effects can be quite deadly, too).

HUMORIX: How do you feel about the Slashdot Baiting Kit,
which was featured on Humorix a few weeks ago?

LANGLITZ: I can't believe anybody would WANT to be hit with
the Slashdot Effect.  It boggles the mind. It also amazes
me that people are making money off selling
Slashdot-related products.

HUMORIX: Does CmdrTaco know about your product?

LANGLITZ: No.  And since the AntiDot website is protected
by the Kit (in ExplodingTaco mode), we hope he never does. 
This is one nerd news item that will never be featured on
Slashdot.

---

James S. Baughn
http://i-want-a-website.com/about-linux/