Old, but Great Linux Quotes
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These quotes are collected by Karel Kubat (karel@icce.rug.nl); please send new cookies to him, not to me. You can access the list by telnet from his machine as well (<TT>telnet bambix.icce.rug.nl 4003 </TT>). The list below is mirrored nightly in the same way. The list below was last updated Wed May 7 07:00:02 EEST 1997.</P><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> <BR><BR>I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody. It doesn't generate revenue.<BR>(Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this<BR>driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).<BR>(Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device)<BR><BR><BR>if (argc > 1 && strcmp(argv[1], "-advice") == 0) {<BR><BR> printf("Don't Panic!\n");<BR><BR> exit(42);<BR><BR>}<BR><BR>(Arnold Robbins in the LJ of February '95, describing RCS)<BR><BR><BR><BR>lp1 on fire<BR></PRE><PRE>(One of the more obfuscated kernel messages)<BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> <BR><BR>A Linux machine! because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!<BR></PRE><PRE>(By jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu, Joe Sloan)<BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> <BR>Microsoft is not the answer.<BR><BR>Microsoft is the question.<BR><BR>NO (or Linux) is the answer.<BR><BR>(Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown)<BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> <BR>In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.<BR><BR>Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?<BR><BR>(By hasku@rost.abo.fi, Hasse Skrifvars)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>This message was brought to you by Linux, the free unix.<BR><BR>Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.<BR><BR>Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules<BR><BR>win-nt from the people who invented edlin<BR><BR>apples have meant trouble since eden<BR><BR>Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses<BR><BR>(By mwikholm@at8.abo.fi, MaDsen Wikholm)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was<BR><BR>good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's<BR><BR>unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd<BR><BR>happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After<BR><BR>a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,<BR><BR>and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do<BR><BR>a compile.<BR><BR>(By ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu (Erik Troan)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>We are MicroSoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.<BR><BR>(Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux<BR><BR>(Unknown source)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The phrase<BR><BR>was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"<BR><BR>(By iialan@www.linux.org.uk, Alan Cox)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.<BR><BR>(By mah@ka4ybr.com, Mark A. Horton KA4YBR)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>----==-- _ / / \<BR><BR>---==---(_)__ __ ____ __ / / /\ \<BR><BR>--==---/ / _ \/ // /\ \/ / / /_/\ \ \<BR><BR>-=====/_/_//_/\_,_/ /_/\_\ /______\ \ \<BR><BR>A proud member of TeamLinux \_________\/<BR><BR>(By CHaley (HAC), haley@unm.edu, ch008cth@pi.lanl.gov)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk ?"<BR><BR>Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!<BR><BR>(By leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de, Felix von Leitner)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to<BR><BR>be the HP-48 series of calculators. They'll run almost anything. And if they<BR><BR>can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the<BR><BR>HP-48 VT-100 emulator.<BR><BR>(By jdege@winternet.com, Jeff Dege)<BR><BR> <BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica, so there's no gain in using a<BR><BR>threaded news reader.<BR><BR>(Unknown source)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE>/*<BR><BR> * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to<BR><BR> * terminate things with extreme prejudice.<BR><BR>*/<BR><BR>die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);<BR><BR>(From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c) <BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste<BR><BR>(ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>linux: the choice of a GNU generation<BR><BR>(ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and<BR><BR>those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.<BR><BR>(From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> > Other than the fact Linux has a cool name, could someone explain why I<BR><BR>> > should use Linux over BSD?<BR><BR>><BR><BR>> No. That's it. The cool name, that is. We worked very hard on<BR><BR>> creating a name that would appeal to the majority of people, and it<BR><BR>> certainly paid off: thousands of people are using linux just to be able<BR><BR>> to say "OS/2? Hah. I've got Linux. What a cool name". 386BSD made the<BR><BR>> mistake of putting a lot of numbers and weird abbreviations into the<BR><BR>> name, and is scaring away a lot of people just because it sounds too<BR><BR>> technical.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds' follow-up to a question about Linux)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> The day people think linux would be better served by somebody else (FSF<BR><BR>> being the natural alternative), I'll "abdicate". I don't think that<BR><BR>> it's something people have to worry about right now - I don't see it<BR><BR>> happening in the near future. I enjoy doing linux, even though it does<BR><BR>> mean some work, and I haven't gotten any complaints (some almost timid<BR><BR>> reminders about a patch I have forgotten or ignored, but nothing<BR><BR>> negative so far).<BR><BR>><BR><BR>> Don't take the above to mean that I'll stop the day somebody complains:<BR><BR>> I'm thick-skinned (Lasu, who is reading this over my shoulder commented<BR><BR>> that "thick-HEADED is closer to the truth") enough to take some abuse.<BR><BR>> If I weren't, I'd have stopped developing linux the day ast ridiculed me<BR><BR>> on c.o.minix. What I mean is just that while linux has been my baby so<BR><BR>> far, I don't want to stand in the way if people want to make something<BR><BR>> better of it (*).<BR><BR>><BR><BR>> Linus<BR><BR>><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> (*) Hey, maybe I could apply for a saint-hood from the Pope. Does<BR><BR>> somebody know what his email-address is? I'm so nice it makes you puke.<BR><BR>(Taken from Linus's reply to someone worried about the future of Linux)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> : Any porters out there should feel happier knowing that DEC is shipping<BR><BR>> : me an AlphaPC that I intend to try getting linux running on: this will<BR><BR>> : definitely help flush out some of the most flagrant unportable stuff.<BR><BR>> : The Alpha is much more different from the i386 than the 68k stuff is, so<BR><BR>> : it's likely to get most of the stuff fixed.<BR><BR>><BR><BR>> It's posts like this that almost convince us non-believers that there<BR><BR>> really is a god.<BR><BR>(A follow-up by alovell@kerberos.demon.co.uk, Anthony Lovell, to Linus's<BR><BR>remarks about porting)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>`When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at<BR><BR>you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".'<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.<BR><BR>(Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu, paraphrasing a quote of Shakespeare)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Be warned that typing \fBkillall \fIname\fP may not have the desired<BR><BR>effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.<BR><BR>(From the killall manual page)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking,<BR><BR>you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should<BR><BR>look into it."<BR><BR>(By Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I only<BR><BR>coded it."<BR><BR>(Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.<BR><BR>Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.<BR><BR>(By entropy@world.std.com, Lawrence Foard)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that<BR><BR>no conclusion can be drawn from them."<BR><BR>(By Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on<BR><BR>the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work."<BR><BR>(Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Problem solving under linux has never been the circus that it is under<BR><BR>AIX."<BR><BR>(By Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than<BR><BR>first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then<BR><BR>I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')"<BR><BR>(By Olaf Kirch)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'<BR><BR>- everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS."<BR><BR>(By Tarl Neustaedter)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since<BR><BR>sliced bread."<BR><BR>(By Vance Petree, Virginia Power)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development<BR><BR>That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb. Thank you."<BR><BR>(By Vance Petree, Virginia Power)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The<BR><BR>Labs."<BR><BR>(By Dennis Ritchie)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot<BR><BR>of different places, just write a Unix operating system."<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"World domination. Fast."<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...and scantily clad females, of course. Who cares if it's below zero<BR><BR>outside."<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead<BR><BR>sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved <BR><BR>linux kernel version."<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?"<BR><BR>(By Patrick Volkerding)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory..."<BR><BR>(By Larry Wall)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs<BR><BR>19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to<BR><BR>get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of<BR><BR>reliable, well-engineered commercial software?"<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access. I<BR><BR>wonder if He has a full newsfeed?"<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of<BR><BR>mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night<BR><BR>hacking (and/or conversations with God)."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through<BR><BR>these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot<BR><BR>water."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...Deep Hack Mode--that mysterious and frightening state of<BR><BR>consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and<BR><BR>the Ugly)."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two<BR><BR>noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer*<BR><BR>being struck by lightning."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar. Believe me. I<BR><BR>speak from experience."<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"[In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I<BR><BR>thought of it. (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less<BR><BR>abusive.')"<BR><BR>(By Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than<BR><BR>10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which<BR><BR>isn't."<BR><BR>(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals."<BR><BR>(By Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX."<BR><BR>(By Stephan Zielinski)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse<BR><BR>for some of the brain-damages of minix.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a<BR><BR>fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get a<BR><BR>high grade for such a design :-)<BR><BR>(Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code<BR><BR>means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.<BR><BR>(Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Linux is obsolete<BR><BR>(Andrew Tanenbaum)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Dijkstra probably hates me<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports<BR><BR>on it, you know they are just evil lies."<BR><BR>(By Linus Torvalds, Linus.Torvalds@cs.helsinki.fi)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.<BR><BR>(seen in someone's .signature)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment".<BR><BR>(seen in a posting in comp.software.testing)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>quit When the quit statement is read, the bc processor<BR><BR> is terminated, regardless of where the quit state-<BR><BR> ment is found. For example, "if (0 == 1) quit"<BR><BR> will cause bc to terminate.<BR><BR>(Seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"sic transit discus mundi"<BR><BR>(From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on<BR><BR>the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.<BR><BR>(Craig E. Groeschel)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"We all know Linux is great...it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam<BR><BR>Linux Symposium)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white<BR><BR>light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In<BR><BR>a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM<BR><BR>FOR THE 386."<BR><BR>(Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license. If<BR><BR>it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.<BR><BR>(Copyright notice for the chat program)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>'Mounten' wird fuer drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken'<BR><BR>von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex.<BR><BR>(Christa Keil in a German posting: "Mounting is used for three things:<BR><BR>climbing on a horse, linking in a hard disk unit in data systems, and, well,<BR><BR>mounting during sex".)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!<BR><BR>(Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>But what can you do with it? -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner.<BR><BR>(Submitted by Andy Pearce, ajp@hpopd.pwd.hp.com)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>/*<BR><BR> * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum<BR><BR> * possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP<BR><BR> * to talk to the University of Mars.<BR><BR> * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented<BR><BR> * ftp to mars will work nicely.<BR><BR> */<BR><BR>(from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time])<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system<BR><BR> crashes, usually just before saving a massive project. Easily cured by<BR><BR> UNIX. See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.<BR><BR>(from David Vicker's .plan)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years<BR><BR>of careful development."<BR><BR>(By dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>LILO, you've got me on my knees!<BR><BR>(from David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the<BR><BR>Dominos, and Werner Almsberger)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few<BR><BR>months. I just love debugging ;-)<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit<BR><BR>operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top<BR><BR>programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated<BR><BR>yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus". Mr. Torvalds<BR><BR>was unavailable for comment ...<BR><BR>(rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk (Robert Manners), in comp.os.linux.setup)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.<BR><BR>(Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X interfaces.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new<BR><BR>folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or<BR><BR>speaker of intuitive likes".<BR><BR>(Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, in comp.os.linux.misc, on X the<BR><BR>intuitiveness of a Mac interface.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive,<BR><BR>because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows<BR><BR>from that! Har har har!"<BR><BR>(Andy Bates in comp.os.linux.misc, on "intuitive interfaces", slightly<BR><BR>defending Macs.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> No manual is ever necessary.<BR><BR>May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT. That's the biggest Apple lie of all!<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>>Ever heard of .cshrc?<BR><BR>That's a city in Bosnia. Right?<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into<BR><BR>super-edit-debug-compile mode?<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands, especially<BR><BR>Emacs.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of <BR><BR>code using nothing but vi or emacs. AAAAACK!<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands, especially<BR><BR>Emacs.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Now, it we had this sort of thing:<BR><BR> yield -a for yield to all traffic<BR><BR> yield -t for yield to trucks<BR><BR> yield -f for yield to people walking (yield foot)<BR><BR> yield -d t* for yield on days starting with t<BR><BR>...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you<BR><BR>wouldn't believe...<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of<BR><BR>filename completion.<BR><BR>(Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands: file<BR><BR>completion vs. the Mac Finder.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Not me, guy. I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads<BR><BR>the Bible. No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible. Excuse me..."<BR><BR>(More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>What's this script do?<BR><BR> unzip ; touch ; finger ; mount ; gasp ; yes ; umount ; sleep<BR><BR>Hint for the answer: not everything is computer-oriented. Sometimes you're<BR><BR>in a sleeping bag, camping out with your girlfriend.<BR><BR>(Contributed by Frans van der Zande.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT"<BR><BR>(Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"I'm an idiot.. At least this one [bug] took about 5 minutes to find.."<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds in response to a bug report.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..<BR><BR>Disquieting ...<BR><BR>(Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..<BR><BR>We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals<BR><BR>then.<BR><BR>(Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>> I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..<BR><BR>Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).<BR><BR>(Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's mailing about a kernel bug.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"Never make any mistaeks."<BR><BR>(Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>"A word to the wise: a credentials dicksize war is usually a bad idea <BR><BR>on the net."<BR><BR>(David Parsons in c.o.l.development.system, about coding in C.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>+#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)<BR><BR>+ /*<BR><BR>+ * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus<BR><BR>+ * this makes the year come out right.<BR><BR>+ */<BR><BR>+ year -= 42;<BR><BR>+#endif<BR><BR>(From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this<BR><BR>kernel yet. So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3 on the linux-kernel mailing list.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>People disagree with me. I just ignore them.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal<BR><BR>emulator.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready?<BR><BR>Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?<BR><BR>(From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.<BR><BR>(By Mike Coleman.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>You can see that there are 25 unread articles in `news.announce.newusers'.<BR><BR>There are no unread articles, but some ticked articles, in<BR><BR>`alt.fan.andrea-dworkin' (see that little asterisk at the beginning of the<BR><BR>line?)<BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>You can fuck that up to your heart's delight by fiddling with the<BR><BR>`gnus-group-line-format' variable.<BR><BR>(From the (ding) Gnus 5 documentation, by Lars Magne Ingebrigtsen.)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than<BR><BR>it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT".<BR><BR>(Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26)<BR><BR><BR><BR></PRE><PRE><!-- $MVD$:spaceretainer() --> </PRE><PRE>... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(),<BR><BR>which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination<BR><BR>right 8^)<BR><BR>(Linus, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26)<BR><BR><BR><BR>It's a bird..<BR><BR>It's a plane..<BR><BR>No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue.<BR><BR>Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat..<BR><BR>(Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this<BR><BR>kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the<BR><BR>"happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along). <BR><BR>(Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"<BR><BR>series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets<BR><BR>and deliver this message of joy to the masses.<BR><BR>(Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27)<BR><BR><BR><BR>When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at<BR><BR>you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'.<BR><BR>(L. Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)<BR><BR>(Seen somewhere on the net.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>>Linux is not user-friendly. <BR><BR>It _is_ user-friendly. It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.<BR><BR>(Seen somewhere on the net.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel.. As the "BugFree(tm)"<BR><BR>series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the<BR><BR>"ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another<BR><BR>shining example.<BR><BR>(Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary<BR><BR>with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors<BR><BR>are for wimps).<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver) <BR><BR><BR><BR>(I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as<BR><BR>I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver) <BR><BR><BR><BR>Q: Why shouldn't I simply delete the stuff I never use, it's just taking up <BR><BR> space?<BR><BR>A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words..<BR><BR>(From the Frequently Unasked Questions)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years? And <BR><BR> never lost anything.. oops!<BR><BR>A: ...<BR><BR>(From the Frequently Unasked Questions)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Linux is addictive, I'm hooked!<BR><BR>(MaDsen Wikholm's .sig)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("Foooooooood fight!");<BR><BR>(In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us <BR><BR>to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza."<BR><BR>Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza".<BR><BR>[1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government <BR><BR>licence to sell liquor.<BR><BR>(Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals,<BR><BR>but want to include anyway.<BR><BR>(Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of the Linux Programmer's<BR><BR>Guide)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this<BR><BR>kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the<BR><BR>"happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).<BR><BR>Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"<BR><BR>series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets<BR><BR>and deliver this message of joy to the masses.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.27)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also<BR><BR>known as "the buggiest kernel ever".<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.33)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and<BR><BR>quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).<BR><BR>(Seen in a .sig somewhere.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.<BR><BR>(Unidentified source.)<BR><BR> <BR><BR>Look, I'm about to buy me a double barreled sawed off shotgun and show<BR><BR>Linus what I think about backspace and delete not working.<BR><BR>(Some anonymous .signature.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I forgot to mention an important fact in the 1.3.67 announcement. In order to <BR><BR>get a fully working kernel, you have to follow the steps below:<BR><BR> - Walk around your computer widdershins 3 times, chanting "Linus is<BR><BR> overworked, and he makes lousy patches, but we love him anyway". Get<BR><BR> your spuouse to do this too for extra effect. Children are optional.<BR><BR> - Apply the patch included in this mail<BR><BR> - Call your system "Super-67", and don't forget to unapply the patch<BR><BR> before you later applying the official 1.3.68 patch.<BR><BR> - reboot<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch.) <BR><BR><BR><BR>We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like yout to test out<BR><BR>this kernel. <BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch.) <BR><BR><BR><BR>The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by<BR><BR>Monthy Python. You'd better start practicing.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch.) <BR><BR><BR><BR>"How do you power off this machine?"<BR><BR>(Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine <BR><BR>for several months.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the<BR><BR>circumstances.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Linus? Whose that?"<BR><BR>(clueless newbie on #Linux)<BR><BR><BR><BR>N: Phil Lewis<BR><BR>E: beans@bucket.ualr.edu<BR><BR>D: Promised to send money if I would put his name in the source tree.<BR><BR>S: PO Box 371<BR><BR>S: North Little Rock, Arkansas 72115<BR><BR>S: US<BR><BR>(This one's from /usr/src/linux/CREDITS)<BR><BR><BR><BR>>You know you are "there" when you are known by your first name, and<BR><BR>>are recognized.<BR><BR>>Lemmie see, there is Madonna, and Linus, and ..... help me out here!<BR><BR>Bill ? ;-)<BR><BR>(From some postings on comp.os.linux.misc)<BR><BR> <BR><BR>"Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God..."<BR><BR>(mikecd on #Linux)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the <BR><BR>grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin <BR><BR>charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what <BR><BR>they say if they had. <BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0)<BR><BR><BR><BR>MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it.<BR><BR>(from Lars Wirzenius' .sig)<BR><BR><BR><BR>>If you don't need X then little VT-100 terminals are available for real <BR><BR>>cheap. Should be able to find decent ones used for around $40 each.<BR><BR>>For that price, they're a must for the kitchen, den, bathrooms, etc.. :)<BR><BR>You're right. Can you explain this to my wife? <BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.development.system, on the subject of extra terminals.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>".. I used to get in more fights with SCO than I did my girlfriend, but <BR><BR>now, thanks to Linux, she has more than happily accepted her place back at <BR><BR>number one antagonist in my life.. "<BR><BR>(Jason Stiefel, krypto@s30.nmex.com)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I mean, well, if it were not for Linux I might be roaming the streets looking<BR><BR>for drugs or prostitutes or something. Hannu and Linus have my highest<BR><BR>admiration (apple polishing mode off).<BR><BR>(Phil Lewis, plewis@nyx.nyx.net, sent in by Michael Driscoll)<BR><BR><BR><BR>>What does ELF stand for (in respect to Linux?)<BR><BR>ELF is the first rock group that Ronnie James Dio performed with back in <BR><BR>the early 1970's. In constrast, a.out is a misspelling of the French word <BR><BR>for the month of August. What the two have in common is beyond me, but <BR><BR>Linux users seem to use the two words together.<BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.misc)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Linux was made by foreign terrorists to take money from true US companies<BR><BR>like Microsoft." -Some AOL'er.<BR><BR>"To this end we dedicate ourselves..." -Don<BR><BR>(From the sig of "Don" <don@cs.byu.edu>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Shoot me again.<BR><BR>Just proving that the quickest way to solve the problem is to post a<BR><BR>whine to the newsgroups: within moments the solution presents itself to<BR><BR>me, and meanwhile my ass is hanging out on the Net... *sigh*... <BR><BR>(Dave Phillips, dlphilp@bright.net, about problem solving via news)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> Is there any hope for me? Am I just thick? Does anyone remember the<BR><BR>> Rubiks Cube, it was easier!<BR><BR>I found that the Rubiks cube and Linux are alike. Looks real confusing<BR><BR>until you read the right book. :-)<BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.misc, about the "Linux Learning Curve")<BR><BR><BR><BR>> I've hacked the Xaw3d library to give you a Win95 like interface and it<BR><BR>> is named Xaw95. You can replace your Xaw3d library.<BR><BR>Oh God, this is so disgusting!<BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.development.apps, about the "Win95 look-alike")<BR><BR><BR><BR>Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical <BR><BR>ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system <BR><BR>becomes so abysmal you'd rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting <BR><BR>Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try <BR><BR>to type something.<BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> I get the following error messages at bootup, could anyone tell me <BR><BR>> what they mean?<BR><BR>> fcntl_setlk() called by process 51 (lpd) with broken flock() emulation<BR><BR>They mean that you have not read the documentation when upgrading the<BR><BR>kernel.<BR><BR>(Seen on c.o.l.misc)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff <BR><BR>on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)"<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"One of the things that hamper Linux's climb to world domination is the<BR><BR>shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system<BR><BR>can be considered respectable without one."<BR><BR>(Brian O'Donnell <odonnllb@tcd.ie>, on c.o.l.announce)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody<BR><BR>responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from<BR><BR>ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet."<BR><BR>(Brian O'Donnell <odonnllb@tcd.ie>, on c.o.l.announce)<BR><BR><BR><BR>'Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux<BR><BR>over the wire". Film at 11.'<BR><BR>(Linus)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Q: Would you like to see the WINE list?<BR><BR>A: What's on it, anything expensive?<BR><BR>Q: No, just Solitaire and MineSweeper for now, but the WINE is free.<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, about the WINdows Emulator.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with <BR><BR>lots of little 'child processes'.<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen <BR><BR>to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream. What? Of _course_ <BR><BR>you didn't know. You and your little group no longer have any permissions <BR><BR>around here. She changed her .lock files, too.<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their <BR><BR>correct technical name... paenguins.<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>We can use symlinks of course... syslogd would be a symlink to syslogp and <BR><BR>ftpd and ircd would be linked to ftpp and ircp... and of course the <BR><BR>point-to-point protocal paenguin.<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is <BR><BR>run by paenguins. Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things <BR><BR>done. And paenguins in politics--who can deny it?<BR><BR>(Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?<BR><BR>(Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to <BR><BR>be fun..."<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"In short, at least give the penguin a fair viewing. If you still don't<BR><BR>like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you<BR><BR>do."<BR><BR>(Linus "what, me arrogant?" Torvalds, on c.o.l.advocacy)<BR><BR><BR><BR><SomeLamer> what's the difference between chattr and chmod?<BR><BR><SomeGuru> SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less<BR><BR>(Seen on #linux on irc)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There."<BR><BR>(Sent in by "Craig S. Bell" <goat@aracnet.com>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited<BR><BR>by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when<BR><BR>you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new<BR><BR>turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily<BR><BR>removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition<BR><BR>(Found in the .sig of Rob Riggs <rriggs@tesser.com>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis M. Ritchie<BR><BR>(Found in comp.compression)<BR><BR><BR><BR>If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.<BR><BR>(Unknown source)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Vini, vidi, Linux!<BR><BR>(Unknown source)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Subject: Forget about "2,0,12 Memory management screwy"<BR><BR>Further investigation revealed that this was an 170Meg E-mail trying to go<BR><BR>through our system. Was not kernel related at all. <BR><BR>(Seen on the linux-kernel list by Sebastian Benoit)<BR><BR><BR><BR>>| Could someone tell me what are the advantages of kernel threads.<BR><BR>>| Do they have faster context switches?<BR><BR>>User level threads are faster.<BR><BR>I believe that WinNT has now taken user level threads, and called<BR><BR>them "fibers", so they now have "processes", "threads", and "fibers".<BR><BR>I expect an announcement of "single-chain polymers" to come next. (The<BR><BR>silliest thing is, I think I know how to do them.)<BR><BR>(Seen on comp.os.linux.development.system)<BR><BR><BR><BR>First off, I'd suggest printing out a copy of the GNU coding standards,<BR><BR>and NOT read it. Burn them, it's a great symbolic gesture.<BR><BR>(Linus in linux/Documentation/CodingStyle)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: daaarrrkk starrr crashesss....");<BR><BR>panic("esp: Aiee penguin on the SCSI-bus.");<BR><BR>panic("esp: Mr. Potatoe Head is on the loose!");<BR><BR>panic("esp: Heading to the promised land.");<BR><BR>(from linux/drivers/scsi/esp.c)<BR><BR><BR><BR>What say? Is UNIX dead _again_? I thought the blockheads at _PC Week_<BR><BR>and so on didn't have that story scheduled for regurgitation until<BR><BR>_next_ month. Oh, I forgot: Not There v.4.0 is out. That explains it.<BR><BR>(Rick Moen <rick@hugin.imat.com> in comp.os.linux.misc)<BR><BR><BR><BR>[...] but this is generally not a real limitation (it means that you can't <BR><BR>have timeouts longer than 248 days on a x86, tough luck). <BR><BR>(Linus, discussing how kernel timeouts should be implemented.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Let's put it this way:<BR><BR>1. A 32-bit counter will expire in little over a year.<BR><BR>2. A 64-bit counter will expire in little over 2^32 years,<BR><BR> or roughly the time the sun (not the Sun) is expected to expire.<BR><BR>3. The odds of your computer hardware surviving the<BR><BR> aforementioned event without reboot are very slim.<BR><BR>Any questions?<BR><BR>(Seen on the linux-kernel mailing list.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> vi<BR><BR>Segmentation fault (.... kernel crash)<BR><BR>Well, haven't we achieved a lot since the Eniac! I abuse Linux by <BR><BR>calling it Vile Idiot in unix jargon. It then replies by insulting <BR><BR>me on the anatomy of my spine and refuses to talk any longer ...<BR><BR>(True story, though of a lost source.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Why do we have to hide from the police, Daddy?"<BR><BR>"Because we use vi, son. They use emacs."<BR><BR>(Contributed by Iain Scott.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Linux hackers are funny people: They count the time in patchlevels.<BR><BR>(Seen in the .sig of Gerd Knorr <kraxel@cs.tu-berlin.de>.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> I don't have time right now, or I'd offer to write it.<BR><BR>Is this the official Debian slogan??<BR><BR>(Seen in some news exchange, contributed by Mike Coleman)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> > Red Hat 4.0 will be released on December 25th to all the people who have<BR><BR>> > been good, that is patiently waiting without bugging the hard-working<BR><BR>> > elves.<BR><BR>> Is this a fake or real announcement? 4.0??<BR><BR>It's a real announcement. Santa Claus is what my friend's call me (I have this<BR><BR>odd habit of giving away everything I own on 12/25) and Finland's domain has<BR><BR>changed from .fi to .finland just this afternoon.<BR><BR>(Seen on rembrandt-list@redhat.com, contributed by Erik Troan)<BR><BR><BR><BR>The people who created MIME not only should be convicted, they should be <BR><BR>shot on the spot.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>The only way tcsh "rocks" is when the rocks are attached to it's feet in the<BR><BR>deepest part of a very deep lake.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>In accord to UNIX philosophy, PERL gives you enough rope<BR><BR>to hang yourself.<BR><BR>(Larry Wall, Randal Schwartz: Programming Perl (aka the Camel Book))<BR><BR><BR><BR>I _like_ using goto's every once in a while: it can often mess up the gcc<BR><BR>optimizer just enough to get better code out of it.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Anyone can build a fast processor. The trick is to build a fast system.<BR><BR>(Seymour Cray)<BR><BR><BR><BR>while (*p++ = *q++) ;<BR><BR>(Dennis M. Ritchie)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Hoping the problem magically goes away by ignoring it is the "microsoft<BR><BR>approach to programming" and should never be allowed.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I guess it is one of the disadvantages of VLSI that it's no longer<BR><BR>so feasible to add instructions to your machines.<BR><BR>(Richard M. Stallman)<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR>Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to<BR><BR>Linux over the wire". Film at 11.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>So, if anybody wants to have hardware sent to them: don't call me, but<BR><BR>instead write your own unix operating system. It has worked every time<BR><BR>for me.<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>One OS to rule them all,<BR><BR>One OS to find them.<BR><BR>One OS to call them all,<BR><BR>And in salvation bind them.<BR><BR>In the bright land of Linux,<BR><BR>Where the hackers play.<BR><BR>(J. Scott Thayer, with apologies to J.R.R.T.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>[In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I<BR><BR>thought of it. (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less<BR><BR>abusive.')<BR><BR>(Matt Welsh)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Teach programmers not to drink and hack.<BR><BR>(from linux/drivers/scsi/53c7,8xx.c)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"...I'm not one of those who think Bill Gates is the devil. I simply<BR><BR>suspect that if Microsoft ever met up with the devil, it wouldn't need an<BR><BR>interpreter."<BR><BR>(From N. Petreley's column, "Down to the Wire", sept. '96 issue of Inforworld)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"After all, how do you give Microsoft the benefit of the doubt when you<BR><BR>know that if you throw it into a room with truth, you'd risk a<BR><BR>matter/anti-matter explosion." <BR><BR>(From N. Petreley's column, "Down to the Wire", sept. '96 issue of Inforworld)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"Linus Torvalds suffers from a rare condition, the need to develop<BR><BR>free world-class operating systems in his spare time. Before he<BR><BR>goes down for the last time, he wants to get into the Guinness<BR><BR>Book of Records as the person who received the most sub-sixty gram<BR><BR>pieces of cruft from other appreciative hacker-types around the world.<BR><BR>(Seen on the linux-kernel list, from Frank Wales, <frank@limitless.co.uk>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> How about the startup code? Is that freed from GPL?<BR><BR>Eyes: n, devices used to examine things to find answers.<BR><BR>Fingers: n, devices uses far too much to ask questions before Eyes (qv)<BR><BR>have been applied to problem documentation.<BR><BR>(An answer by Alan Cox on the Linux kernel list.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>...the Linux philosophy is "laugh in the face of danger".<BR><BR>Oops. Wrong one. "Do it yourself". That's it.<BR><BR>(by Linus)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Date: Mon, 23 Sep 1996 10:02:55 +0200<BR><BR>From: John van Eck <johne@worldaccess.nl><BR><BR>To: linux@reseau.nl<BR><BR>Subject: undescribe<BR><BR>undescribe<BR><BR>(Seen by Jeroen Braakman, jeroen@rdc.nl)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> Dear kernel <BR><BR>> i would most appreseate if you sent me some information on how to hack<BR><BR>> because i am deply confused on how people do hack.thankyou from acid burn.<BR><BR>> email address anikola@ibm.net<BR><BR>Ja.<BR><BR>vi /vmlinuz<BR><BR>(By tgakem@chem.tue.nl, submitted by Jeroen Braakman)<BR><BR><BR><BR>On Tue, 12 Nov 1996, David Howells wrote:<BR><BR>> I would imagine this is because /proc files in general have zero lengths, and<BR><BR>> so anything that stat's them will assume that they don't contain anything.<BR><BR>> I find that less doesn't work on them either.<BR><BR>Indeed. To get /proc to work over NFS you have to give the files their<BR><BR>correct length, and that is not done by the normal kernel (because the length<BR><BR>calculations are non-trivial). <BR><BR>What you _can_ do to fake it and to generally make it work for most cases is<BR><BR>to just create a patched kernel that fakes the lengths to some random value.<BR><BR>I've used this once to debug a kernel problem over NFS. Sick, but potentially<BR><BR>useful (I made all /proc files be 4096 bytes in length, which happens to be a<BR><BR>nice round random number). <BR><BR>Linus<BR><BR>(Seen on the linux-kernel list)<BR><BR><BR><BR>The local betaware broker was sitting in the bar, keeping an eye<BR><BR>for potential customers. It was easy to spot him, once you knew<BR><BR>the signs. A slightly paranoid look, but still eager to meet<BR><BR>new people. Not unlike a drug dealer or prostitute. This guy,<BR><BR>however, was carrying a laptop.<BR><BR> I sat in the chair beside him. "Any new stuff for<BR><BR>Linux configuration?", I said, looking at the opposite wall<BR><BR>of bottles.<BR><BR> The broker looked at me, startled, then quickly away. Then<BR><BR>back at me. "What are you, a cop?" The traditional greeting of<BR><BR>the underworld. It made me feel right at home.<BR><BR> "Nope, I just want to install Deb..."<BR><BR> "Shutup. I don't want to go to jail."<BR><BR> I turned around, looked around, then turned back, and put my<BR><BR>knife against his ribs. "Sing or die: where's software for<BR><BR>managing a group of Debian boxes easily?"<BR><BR> His face was pale, and he whispered through his teeth. "cfgtool.<BR><BR>At Lasu's site. http://www.iki.fi/liw/programs/".<BR><BR> I stood up, and walked quickly to the kitchen, and on<BR><BR>out. As I was closing the kitchen door behind me, I heard the all too<BR><BR>familiar sound of MessySoft Police Cars braking in the street. It<BR><BR>would be a hectic night, but I was still one step ahead.<BR><BR>(Lars Wirzenius, advertising his cfgtool program.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I was trying to manipulate the linux cookies using python.<BR><BR>The command has the wrong syntax for writing my results<BR><BR>back to a file. The error message was rather fitting ;)<BR><BR>>>> posix.system('cat' + fortlist + '> pythoncookie')<BR><BR>sh: catI: command not found<BR><BR>sh: syntax error near unexpected token `full...).'<BR><BR>sh: -c: line 5: `driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).'<BR><BR>Sure raised a laugh..<BR><BR>(Quess what, the first cookie about the cookie list. Sent by Jeppe Sigbrandt<BR><BR><jay@elec.gla.ac.uk>.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"...Then do not expect to learn all the mysteries of Perl in a moment, as <BR><BR>though you were consuming a mere peanut, or an olive. Rather, think of <BR><BR>it as though you were consuming, say, a banana. Consider how this <BR><BR>works. You do not wait to enjoy the banana until after you have eaten <BR><BR>the whole thing. No, of course not. You enjoy each bite as you take <BR><BR>it. And the next bite motivates you to take the next bite, and the next..."<BR><BR>(Larry Wall, in the Foreword to "Learning Perl". Sent in by Adam Procter<BR><BR><aprocter@mail.coin.missouri.edu>.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> It means that Linus just had a baby girl. Congrats Linus!<BR><BR>> Have a virtual cigar on me ....<BR><BR>><BR><BR>> ,-----------__________________<BR><BR>> / HAVANA \<BR><BR>> \ V 1.0 __________________/<BR><BR>> `-----------<BR><BR>I share your felicitations, but I think you fail to understand the<BR><BR>technology. Tove had the baby, Linus made a, um, seminal<BR><BR>contribution in the conceptual phase, to use corporate speak.<BR><BR>Bill Davidsen (davidsen@tmr.com)<BR><BR>(Contributed by <L.A.RoosvRaadshooven@research.kpn.com>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Microsoft seems to have gotten a lot of mileage out of the C2 rating for<BR><BR>NT with no network connection. I wonder if a B3 rating for Linux with no<BR><BR>power cord might be of value.<BR><BR>(Seen on the kernel mailing list and sent in by Michael Driscoll<BR><BR><fenris@lightspeed.net>)<BR><BR><BR><BR>* Should be panic but... (Why are BSD people panic obsessed ??)<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("Splunge!");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("Foooooooood fight!");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: daaarrrkk starrr crashesss....");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp_handle: current_SC == penguin within interrupt!");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("ESP penguin reselected in async mode.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin didn't enter cmd phase.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin prematurely changed from cmd phase.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin phase transition after selection.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: Mr. Potatoe Head is on the loose!");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: Aiee penguin on the SCSI-bus.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin data transfer.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin disconnects in status phase.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin status phase.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin doesn't disconnect after status msg-ack.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: penguin esp state.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: detected penguin phase.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("esp: Heading to the promised land.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("penguin cross call");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("Wheee, iomapping overflow.");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("CPU too expensive - making holiday in the ANDES!");<BR><BR>(Panic message in the kernel.)<BR><BR><BR><BR>> Compilable but broken code is even worse than working code<BR><BR>(Alan Cox, during a bright moment on the linux-kernel list)<BR><BR><BR><BR>panic("Aarggh: attempting to free lock with active wait queue - shoot Andy")<BR><BR>(seen in fs/locks.c of the kernel souce (v2.1.20)<BR><BR><BR><BR>A multithreaded file system is only a performance hack.<BR><BR>(Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I've discovered that using VMS is a lot like driving a nail with your head:<BR><BR>sure, you eventually get something practical done, but it usually results<BR><BR>in a headache and some blood loss.<BR><BR>(submitted by Sean A. Simpson)<BR><BR><BR><BR>A weird imagination is most useful to gain full advantage of all the<BR><BR>features - manpage of amd(8).<BR><BR>(From the .sig of ralf@julia.de (Ralf Baechle))<BR><BR><BR><BR>Ingo Molnar wrote:<BR><BR>[...]<BR><BR>> Pick up a hairdrier and point it at your memory modules, while the system<BR><BR>> is running. If some of the modules are flaky, then errors will show up<BR><BR>> quite fast.<BR><BR>Don't see what good that would do........ oh, should I turn the<BR><BR>hairdrier on? ;-)<BR><BR>(andy@lysaker.kvaerner.no (Andrew Walker) on linux-kernel)<BR><BR><BR><BR>Never attribute to malloc that which can be adequately explained by<BR><BR>stupidity.<BR><BR>(From the .sig of joerg@raleigh.ibm.com (Joerg Pommnitz))<BR><BR><BR><BR>Alexandre Maret wrote:<BR><BR><snip><BR><BR>> this looks like : "my CPU is cooler when running linux than DOS"<BR><BR>Ha!, wrong example, on Pentium systems which have a halt instruction Linux<BR><BR>DOES run cooler. I know a person who used an ICE-CAP (refrigerator on top<BR><BR>of the processor, remember those HOT 66MHz Pentia (is that the correct plural?))<BR><BR>and the moment Linux supported the halt instruction, the system cooled so<BR><BR>much (because the CPU ran much cooler) that condensation in the PC<BR><BR>shortcircuited the board.<BR><BR>(Ronald Schalk <Ronald.Schalk@interpay.nl> on linux-kernel)<BR><BR><BR><BR>"To boldly binary patch commercial programs where no commercial program has<BR><BR>been binary patched before.."<BR><BR>(Linus Torvalds <torvalds@cs.helsinki.fi> on linux-kernel about patching Quake)<BR><BR><BR><BR>On Wed, 16 Oct 1996, Theodore Y. Ts'o wrote:<BR><BR>> I've personally used e2fsprogs 1.05 to make a 54bib partition.<BR><BR>That's a lot of bibs. I thought a double chin was a lot, but to<BR><BR>need 54 bibs, it would have to be a FAT partition.<BR><BR>(Kevin M Bealer <kmb203@psu.edu> on linux-kernel)<BR><BR><BR><BR>sensei@munich.netsurf.de (Stephan Meyer) wrote on 18.01.97:<BR><BR>> I want nice German error messages telling me that the root filesystem<BR><BR>> crashed :-).<BR><BR>"Wurzel-Ordner-System gekracht."<BR><BR>Please don't.<BR><BR>(kai@khms.westfalen.de (Kai Henningsen) on linux-kernel about<BR><BR>internationalizing kernel messages)<BR><BR><BR><BR>I can envision a page in menuconfig to pick your CPU, with nice options for<BR><BR>386, 486, AMD 5x86, AMD K5, AMD K6, Cyrix 586, Cyrix 686, Intel Pentium,<BR><BR>Intel PentiumPro, Intel Pentium SMP, Intel PentiumPro SMP, Alpha, SPARC,<BR><BR>m68k, Power PC, Human Brain, or whatever...<BR><BR>(andersee@et.byu.edu (Erik Andersen) on linux-kernel)<BR><BR><BR><BR>C:\>jobs <BR><BR>[1] Terminated (staying resident) SMARTDRV.EXE<BR><BR>[2]- Segmentation celebration WIN.COM <BR><BR>[3]+ Running (tty input) COMMAND.COM <BR><BR>(Submitted by Tuukka Toivonen : "I'd be tickled pink if<BR><BR>you would add (the left half of) it to your Linux cookies." How could I<BR><BR>refuse?)<BR><BR></PRE><P
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