There was an old married couple that had lived happily
together for nearly forty years. The only friction in
their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of
breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise
would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause
her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air.

Nearly every morning he told her that he couldn't help it.
She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be
done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that
it was just a natural bodily function and then he would
laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with
her hands.

She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if
he didn't stop, he would "fart out his guts" one day. Each
day, she told him this same thing.

The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the
husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his
guts out" until one Thanksgiving morning, before dawn, the
wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed
pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course, the turkey.
While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought
occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's
problem. With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the
turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours
before her husband would awake. While he was still soundly
asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled
back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all the
turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up
and replaced the covers and tiptoed down-stairs to finish
preparing the family meal.

Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his
normal loud butt-trumpeting. This was soon followed by a
blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps
as her husband ran to the bathroom. The wife could not
control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled
on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him
she had finally gotten even.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in
his blood stained underpants with a look of horror in his
eyes. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked
him what was the matter. He said "Honey, you were right--all
those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always did
tell me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these
days and today it finally happened. But with God's help and
these two fingers, I think I got'em all back in!!"