You Might be an AOL Addict If...
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<title>You Might be Addicted to AOL if...</title>
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<center><h2>You Might be Addicted to AOL if...</h2></center>
<li>Tech Support calls <b>You</b> for help.
<li>Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
<li>You watch T.V. with the closed cationing turned on
<li>You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
<li>You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
<li>Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome
<li>You want to meet a girl/guy and your first impulse is to turn on your computer
<li>you've ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face
<li>you have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
<li>You have ever joined "Si habla Espanol"(spanish chat room) "just to work on my spanish"
<li>you've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
<li>you go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail letting everyone know you are going to be away
<li>you have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it (hehehe)
<li>you no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete sentences...
<li>you have met over 100 AOLers
<li>you begin to say hehehe instead of laughing
<li>when someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
<li>you find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is alseep
<li>you turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know you are on-line again
<li>you know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouses
<li>you find yourself lying to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it
was off the hook
<li>you have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
<li>you would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
<li>you change s/n's so much that you have to get your profile to see who you are
<li>you're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one
<li>you open your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cool s/n's
<li>your kids are standing at your side saying "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you would rather type another "LOL"
<li>you marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your won computers and chat to each other every night from across the
room
<li>you type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
<li>you won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
<li>your dog leaves you
<li>you have to ask what year it is
<li>you are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat
<li>you write a letter like this..."dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well gotta go bbl!"
<li>you name your pets after people you talk to
<li>you smile sideways
<li>you sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
<li>you have a map on the wall with red thumbtacks to mark where people you have met are
<li>you look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy
<li>you bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the puter
<li>your significant other kisses your neck while you are chating and you think "uh oh cyber sex pervo"
<li>you have withdrawls if you are away from the puter for more than a few hours
<li>you use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
<li>you take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling
<li>your buddy list has over 100 people on it
<li>your worst comeback to a bully is "I'll slap you with a rubber chicken."
<li>you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
<li>you have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake
<li>you have your puter set up so that it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen (hehehe I used to have that)
<li>you wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to come home from work
<li>you don't know where the time has gone
<li>you end sentances with three(or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
<li>your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
<li>you get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your puter
<li>you spell things outloud instead of actually saying the word
<li>you don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
<li>when you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs}}} or ***Kisses***
<li>you stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
<li>your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL"
<li>you type faster than you think
<li>you got your psychiatrist addicted on AOL too and are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
<li>you want to be burried with your computer when it dies...or vice versa
<li>you actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
<li>you can actually read and follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your tv-screen at the end of a movie
<li>people say, if it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes and fingers, you would have long been classified as a vegetable
<li>you dream in text
<li>being called a newbie is a <b>MAJOR</b> insult
<li>there is absolutely no interesting chat any room and you are really bored....yet you don't want to leave incase you miss
something
<li>you double click your tv remote
<li>you can now type over 70 wpm
<li>you think about starting a 12 step recovery group for AOL junkies
<li>you are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL"
<li>you check your e-mail and forget you have real mail aka snail mail
<li>you go into withdrawls during dinner
<li>you spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
<li>you stop speaking in full sentances
<li>you have gone into an unstaffed tech support room and ended up "giving" tech support to other AOLers
<li>you have to be pried from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
<li>your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
<li>you set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted to "check your mail" and while you were there you
"just wanted to see who's on" <li>you meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call
them by their s/n
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